Journal Entry –Okcupid/”Cutie Pie”
Becoming frustrated with the single life, I thought I’d try Internet Dating through a popular website called Okcupid. I wasn’t looking for love on the internet per say, just people I could meet and hang out with. I reluctantly signed up, posted a photo and filled out a shallow questionnaire (like you can really get to know me by my favorite movies). There was initially no luck. Plenty of profile views, but no takers. Then, luck struck me and I was messaged by a very attractive guy (score!). But let’s take things slow. I don’t know you from Adam. We spoke via message for about 2 days until I gave him my phone number. We text(ed) back and for about a week and most recently I gave him a call and we spoke. The conversation, the first five minutes of it went really well, he asked me questions and I answered or made comments things were going well until I noticed something strange, after each question, comment, or laugh he would whisper “cutie pie” and giggle. The first couple of times I didn’t really mind, he was verbally expressing his approval of me. But this “cutie pie” giggle expression went on the whole conversation, and made me plea internally, “Ugh, I wished he’d stop” and “I want to hang up, NOW!” But, I engaged him for almost half an hour and I’m sure I heard variations of his creepy phrase: “cuuutiie pie” “cutiepie” and “c u tie pie” I’m not shallow regarding any man that that I’m speaking with or involved with. I really like a guy with an authentic personality, but I also know myself and how I approach situations with men. I’m incredibly shy and am in no rush to reveal myself right away, but as time goes on and if I feel comfortable, I will. I let him speak and talk about how he treats woman. He seemed like a nice guy and I felt somewhat ready to meet him, even with the “cutie pie” thing echoing in my brain. As I thought about meeting him, his obnoxious phrase became even more of a deal breaker. What if he kept saying it as we spoke in person? Even worse, what if he tried to make a pass at me? I could not handle that. Neither could I handle another comment he made during our conversation “You look so cute and innocent, and you look like you’ve been hurt. That’s so cute” Umm, what? That was a scary deal breaker, he could be saying, “I can mistreat you and get away with it because you’ve already been hurt.” Or, maybe that wasn’t want he meant-either way, I did not want to wait around for him, to find out what that really meant.
I waited a couple of days then texted him to tell him that I had second thoughts about us meeting, he asked me why and I told him the exactly reason, that I thought him s aying “cutie pie” and giggling was weird and made me uncomfortable. He told me that he was just kidding and it was because I was really quiet and he didn’t know what to say. While that may be true about me (and it is) I really don’t think saying “cutie pie” and giggling helps me much. I also explained to him that I’m a quiet person, and it takes time for me to really get involved in conversations with people, or to feel comfortable letting myself go with them. His reply, “Well the next time we talk, I’ll just let you be quiet the whole time.” Slighted –I can deal with that, we don’t know each other and I have no obligation to him what so ever so I respond with, “Cool.” And that was the end of our conversation. I know that we won’t ever speak again, unless he has some more backhanded insults for me.
You win some, you lose some, but at the end of the day as long as you’re honest you can’t ever fault yourself for someone else’s response to you.