My Mother’s Mistake


I remember some months back, late 2011 sometime, I was talking to my Grandma about growing up without my parents’ involvement. That day she admitted two things about my up bringing: (she raised my brothers and sisters, and I) The first, she told me that there was a lot she did not know regarding my generation since she was raised in the 1930s-40s. Also, she admitted that she and my mother argued about the fact that she (my mother) did not like me, or my other older sister. It is difficult for me now to formulate relationships with women which always led me to believe that I was mistrested by one before I could remember things. Common sense is that someone who doesn’t like you will be more inclined to mistreat you. And so, there I am standing in front of a Subway in Los Angeles listening to my Grandma tell me my mother did not like me. After all these months, that pill is still hard for me to swallow let a lone digest. But, the first step to recovery from that I suppose would be prayer for forgiveness. I am not sure what I did to my mother to make her dislike (hate) me besides being born,but the fact that she is no longer alive will never allow me to ask. And with that, I simply move forward, trusting God, and reaching to the best of my abilities.

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4 thoughts on “My Mother’s Mistake

  1. It makes one wonder how you might have turned out, as an adult, if it was not for your grandmother. You are right in going forward, rather than dwelling on the past. The past may make you bitter and hate your mother, even though she treated you wrong.
    What I have observed with some parents is not that they necessarily hate their children, but that the parents had the children without using protection and/or common sense, and the parents’ free spirited life came to an end. Thus they blame the children for their own mistakes and mistreat them out of frustration and regret of their own short comings.
    Its a sad world that we as society are becoming. And I am afraid that it will only get worse as time goes on.

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    1. I agree with you Greg. Children (before having them) should be something well thought out why everyone involved. Children really should not be carelessly had by people who don’t want the responsibility.

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  2. As far as I can see, you did nothing to your mother; some dislike seems to come from nowhere, and I don’t think you could ever be to blame. Sure you were born, but that wasn’t your fault. It was never your fault. You can’t be blamed for her mistakes.

    I was a ‘mistake’ – my mother got pregnant after my father left her. I guess they were still sleeping together. I often wonder if I get treated differently because of it.

    I wish more people would take responsibility for themselves; I know accidental pregnancies do happen, but it’s rare for a true accidental pregnancy to occur. Not taking precautions isn’t an accident, yet so many claim it is.

    I wish I had the right words instead of just rambling.

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    1. No human being on this earth is a mistake. I do not really know what the deal is with some parents not liking or loving their children in a way that is honest and healthy. We were not created without a purpose (Including you). I believe having that understanding in our thoughts is encouraging. Although it takes a lot to bare through those feelings of rejection.
      Thank you for reading and responding to this

      Kimberly

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