Hard Times and Uncertainty: My Revolving Door


“Everyone” is facing financial hardships. This life becomes uncertain at times when money is involved, rather not involved. I don’t have any statistical facts as far as the increase in prices for food, and monthly rent, but I don’t come out of the grocery store spending the same $100 that I did maybe two years ago. Routinely having to chose between stiffing on the rent, or going without food to pay rent has gotten quite old. I feel alone, and responsible for creating more hardship for my sister whom I share a Studio apartment with in Los Angeles. What is difficult about this city is the overwhelming need for financial security, a rope at least for when you’re screwed over at work and you get your walking papers, or your seasonal job has concluded for the year, and Unemployment isn’t enough to cover your rent payments. I do not want to be on the streets, and when I heard the handymen renovating yet another apartment in my building for rental, I felt panic. Is my apartment next to be renovated after we get kicked out? Are they tired of us being behind on our rent? Is a shelter the next stop for me? Losing control doesn’t offer itself as an option for me. Certainly, I have seen countless posts on social media with folks sharing their fears of homelessness.  Are those who aren’t one paycheck away from the streets compassionate toward us, I mean, DOES ANYONE CARE, or has our society lost its empathy for others? My next options are simply reaching out for help. I need help. We need help and I feel ashamed to ask, again. I want to see a miracle, but I have seen no light at the end of this particular tunnel. Things look bad…

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12 thoughts on “Hard Times and Uncertainty: My Revolving Door

  1. This is my life right now. If I buy the amount of groceries I actually need, the money inevitably comes out of some random bill, which ends up late, overdue and accumulates all manner of dishonour fees and interest.

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      1. I sell drugs. lol joke. In all honesty, my partner and I work as hard as we can to stay afloat. Our frustration just fuels us to succeed. Failure is not an option. We’re basically on our own and outside of mummy/daddy’s help if things go bad. I wish I had the safety net of knowing friends willing to take us in if things go bad, but we don’t, so we work hard.

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      2. (LOL) If only it were that easy. I think hard work is truly the bread and butter of staying above water, and keeping a roof. I am inclined to believe anyone one who works hard will be rewarded, but sometimes you gotta kick yourself in the tail as a reminder not to give up on goals.

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      3. It sucks. To work your whole life just to survive. Never accumulating any real wealth unless you chance upon something. Either way, there’s a great many people doing it infinitely worse.

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      4. Some people work very hard and their reward is a roof. That’s a accomplishment, I believe. I’ve met homeless people who are content living on the street. A classmate told me today that being homeless “isn’t so bad”. I honestly have never met a person who was unhappy because they were rich, but seemingly for a host of other reasons. I used to desire wealth, but my ideas have changed. I want a house, a car, and the luxury of an occasional vacation. I don’t want more than I can spend in my entire life time…Un-American (lol), but little things like that are my version of wealth.

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      5. My dream is basically to own a lovely self-sustainable log cabin with its own water tank, vegetable garden and solar panel. That’s really all I want in addition to the occasional extra cash to do something. To think most wealthy people already have all of this and more, but take it for granted.

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      6. Kinda a side question here: are you a Burner(Burning Man attendee)?

        I think those are some real self sufficient goals, and realistic as well.
        About the rich, some don’t really understand poverty, the feeling, fear, shame, etc…They’re out of touch.

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      7. Agree completely. Always wanted to go to Burning Man. It’s in America, right? Saw a few awesome promotional films on Youtube about the festival.

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      8. Yeah it’s in Black Rock City, Nevada here in the U.S. A lot of fun. I asked because you have the Burner attitude of Self Reliance. I went last year and had a really interesting experience and met different people. I think anyone with a opened mind and attitude should make the journey, even if it is one time.

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      9. I just remember noticing that everyone on the films were smiling and projecting lovely energy. Sounds heaps hippy of me, but you really can tell if someone’s a good/bad person just by looking at them. My partner and I recently had a scary experience with this sort of intuition that I’ll have to write briefly about at some point.

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      10. I am interesting in reading about your experience.

        One of the things that really stuck out to me at Burning Man was that there seemed to be many people there just trying to figure themselves out, and enjoy others. Because there isn’t reliable cell phone and internet connection, it really forces you out of your comfort zone of seclusion and into the realm of community. I felt some folks may have been somewhat uncomfortable with me because I may be an anomaly of who typically attends Burning Man but MOST of the people I met were wonderful and pretty genuine individuals.

        All the smiles you saw were justified for a number of reasons. When I came home from Burning Man I smiled at the memories of my my experiences. While I was there, I laughed ALOT, and felt pretty relaxed. I checked out your page and saw that you’re a writer. Congratulations! I am currently in school studying Literature….

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