For quite a number of years, I wrote blogs that talked a lot about Christian loving and what I would say was my introspective look at how living according to the Bible impacted my life. I found writing things that I learned through sitting in a church or reading biblical content on my own really helped me to explain the internal struggles, as well as triumphs I felt belong to me as a Christian person. I spent hours upon hours studying, making notes, thinking deeply about my desires for God and to accomplish great tasks according to my belief and “awe” of who I believed God to be. The more I studied the Bible, and read through the texts the more I questioned the content. I would really like to write more about this at a later date, but to make quite a long and complex story short, through researching and studying not only the Bible, but also reading articles, listening to speakers and thinking very long and hard about the things I believed and assumptions I had, I drew a conclusion that the Bible itself contains quite a series of flaws, and while some of them were very small things that I previously fixed my mind to overlook, some of the flaws are quite big and worthy of second thoughts depending on what you already believe. Having gone through the Exodus of Christian belief, as I’ll call it, those moments of realization are actually frightening, and the product of anxiety because it breaks down the infrastructure of long standing beliefs that typically begin in childhood with your parents or respective guardian. Once those core beliefs are taught, they are very hard to deconstruct because there is this need to “keep old habits” so to speak, and live comfortably with beliefs that, in reality, may no longer be working in relationship to your life, and I felt that I was right in the middle of that conflict mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. I’ve decided that I can no longer believe in something that I am constantly questioning. For example, we are punished for murdering another man, but God, in the Old Testament slaughtered people effortlessly, which to me is quite hypocritical regardless of the notion that he can “do whatever he pleases”. That is just one example, and because Christianity is exclusive, I don’t believe I owe anyone an explanation besides myself. I am comfortable with my decision and I finally feel peace as an unbeliever in Christian doctrine.