Z and I have been together for two months. We dated for one month, then became official on March 29th, my birthday. I can say very immediately that the relationship, so far, is healthy. We find ourselves talking things out when we aren’t getting along on a subject, and we are also tender towards each other during those times of disagreement.
I would like to share with you all a little bit about how the bad relationships of the past can help you develop desires, boundaries, and a tenderness to the goodness of healthy relationships:
Being in an unhealthy relationship; especially, over a long period of time changes our self-perception from excitement, adventure and expectation to anger, guilt, and a feeling of failure.
Imagine your former partner was manipulative and flaky. You have extended yourself. Pouring in effort after effort, you finally give in under his or her strings of deceit and their own struggles with un-forgiveness and anger. Although their characteristics are not necessarily aimed at anything you have done, their own past haunts them to the point of destroying the relationship with you. The positive side of that traumatic and stress-filled situation is that you come out on the other side with a better sense of self, and higher expectations. If you are a thoughtful person, you will think harder and more detailed about what you want in someone. As you release the anger and un-forgiveness toward the person who hurt you, your freedom to love another will open up, and you will eventually be restored. Remember, it takes time and patience to reach health and wealth in a new relationship. The key is to forgive yourself, and the other individual.