Ugly Family-a poem

Abandoned from birth
My parents didn’t want me
Abandoned from birth
Grandma and Grandpa came to my rescue
No parents is dysfunctional
But they didnt care.
I am swamped with annoying memories of neglect.
I’m too old for this.
My family is a dysfunctional mess.
It’s funny how my uncles neglected their dark-skinned children
They hate themselves.
No parents is dysfunctional,
a dysfunctional mess.


White Privilege and Mass Murders in America – Three SonoransThree Sonorans

Watch “Michael Howard intercessor II” on YouTube

Sherry Turkle: Connected, but alone?

Sherry Turkle: Connected, but alone? #TED :

Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability–And My Personal Comments

**Please, watch this talk before reading my comments below. Brené Brown: The power of vulnerability #TED :

I have spent many years of my young life in the vortex of that little feeling called Shame. As you heard in Brené Brown’s wonderful TEDtalk, shame is that sense of unworthiness many of us struggle and live with. That feeling of: “am I worth love and acceptance?” Shame seems the motivating factor of so many awful crimes and poor decisions made by us in order to avoid vulnerability. Listening to men and women at TED Conferences these last few months has truly revolutionized my thinking and also has been a bedrock of sorts for my desire to be healthier mentally, physically, and emotionally, and let me not forget, spiritually. Growing up, there was always this lingering emotion I felt in certain situations; especially, situations involving my family. In a way, I was ashamed of them. Not that they weren’t good enough or that I was in some ways better, but comparing them to my friends’ parents or their stories of their parents and families, I felt that with myself, and my family, there was something terribly wrong. Now, as a child I had no detailed understanding of shame. As I have grown up, I realize shame was that strange feeling I got on assembly day when I had to, along with twenty-eight of my classmates sing “We Shall Overcome”. Or on Parent/Teacher night, when I walked to school with my grandma in the evening (because she was my parent). And when my mother would kick my sister and I out of our room so that she could use it to get high. All of those moments were a type of feeling that “I am not worthy”. Whether it was of someones time, displaying myself infront of a large group, or quality time with family, I have struggled for a sense of worthiness amongst people. I still struggle in some aspects, but with many, many hours of prayer time and forcing myself to be vulnerable some healing has taken place. I have a long way to go in understanding and seeing the manifestation of being transparent and open, being me and how far deep it will take me in the sucess of relationships with people, but I am willing to endure. I want to be free. I want to love. I want to be worthy of all the good God wants for me. Thank you